Do you know how to listen? I mean really listen. Sure you have conversations with people every day, you take in information. But in your regular life, you'll only retain about 25% of the content you take in on any given day. It's natural, everybody has this problem.
Listening is the most powerful way you can connect to another person. It is the portal through which you learn their objectives, wants, desires, and goals.
Getting to know someone is not about making them interested in you, but about developing your own interest in them. There is nothing more satisfying, perhaps for anyone, than an attentive and genuinely inquisitive listener.
And this is why you must be open. What does it mean to develop a visible openness? Can you make yourself appear approachable? In your stance, your hand position, your face.
Consider your body at this moment, as you listen. What are you doing right now? Try to eliminate all distractions. Stop fidgeting. Make your body comfortable.
Maybe you are in a crowded place, like a street or a train. You could be at home, or at work. Try to identify the sources of sound around you, what's making up the soundtrack
Are there two channels, three, maybe ten. Consider a few of them. Let's say there are birds chirping, traffic noise. The mundane sounds. Fixate for a moment, and absorb the mix.
Are you ready to come back?
Now, focus on my voice and just push those other sounds into the background. Let them go, let them disappear. Let your mind zero in on the fluctuations of tone, of breath, of difference, of space.
One might say that you hear the differences between the sounds, rather than the sounds in themselves.
It is almost like reading— the physical shape is a signifier too. A good listener can see, in an expression or a gesture, a contour that confirms content.
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