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Incorporate

by Essex Olivares

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1.
Can you adjust your body's position to express your mood? Everyday you are working, in public, with your body. Your movements and positions speak volumes, both to those around you, and to your own mind. Studies have shown that deliberately assuming a posture of confidence directly affects the confidence of one's decision making. Even if you are not acknowledging these thoughts, subconscious motivation from your body will increase your ability to act on your instincts. Less wading around, less trying to evaluate the situation. Being present, right now. Think about the way you've arranged yourself. Identify an adjective that describes your shape. Is there someone looking at you now? Relax and try to identify what one might assume of you. Could you call your position neutral? Adjust your weight, the balance of your shoulders. Neutralize your physical speech. Close your eyes, let your neck fall forward with your face directly above your knees. Shake your head yes and no. Can you feel the eyes of others in your space, interpreting your body's silent speech? Slouch your shoulders forward. Where are your arms, are they guarding you? Are they reached out to welcome someone, or perhaps falling to the floor. Think of what adjectives could describe the shapes you are taking now. Sit up straight. Push out your chest. Slouch forward. Let your face gaze towards your knees.
2.
Do you know how to listen? I mean really listen. Sure you have conversations with people every day, you take in information. But in your regular life, you'll only retain about 25% of the content you take in on any given day. It's natural, everybody has this problem. Listening is the most powerful way you can connect to another person. It is the portal through which you learn their objectives, wants, desires, and goals. Getting to know someone is not about making them interested in you, but about developing your own interest in them. There is nothing more satisfying, perhaps for anyone, than an attentive and genuinely inquisitive listener. And this is why you must be open. What does it mean to develop a visible openness? Can you make yourself appear approachable? In your stance, your hand position, your face. Consider your body at this moment, as you listen. What are you doing right now? Try to eliminate all distractions. Stop fidgeting. Make your body comfortable. Maybe you are in a crowded place, like a street or a train. You could be at home, or at work. Try to identify the sources of sound around you, what's making up the soundtrack Are there two channels, three, maybe ten. Consider a few of them. Let's say there are birds chirping, traffic noise. The mundane sounds. Fixate for a moment, and absorb the mix. Are you ready to come back? Now, focus on my voice and just push those other sounds into the background. Let them go, let them disappear. Let your mind zero in on the fluctuations of tone, of breath, of difference, of space. One might say that you hear the differences between the sounds, rather than the sounds in themselves. It is almost like reading— the physical shape is a signifier too. A good listener can see, in an expression or a gesture, a contour that confirms content.
3.
Spot a liar 03:04
When was the last time you lied? And, were you smiling while you did it. Perhaps it was something small. “Oh sorry, my bus was late!” You know, everyone makes excuses. “Oh yeah, that movie was awesome” Sometimes we make room to be accommodating, or inflate things. Did you look them in the eye? Because you definitely should. Or maybe you were sitting. Crossed legs? Crossed arms? How long was your story? Was it a sentence, or even just a clause. Sometimes that happens. A paragraph? Maybe it’s a story. How many events happened in it? It’s easy enough to find a beginning, middle and end. Or you could get ambitious, go for the eight-point plot arc. First, stasis. A trigger. The quest. A surprise. Then, your critical choice. These are just five, the others come after you get caught. Could you tell the story backwards? I hear that's hard to do.
4.
Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Feel these words through your body.   With every breath, you release more tension.
5.
6.
A thing that is urgent. A thing that is not urgent. A thing that is important. A thing that is not important. A thing that is urgent and important. A thing that is not urgent or important. A thing that is urgent and not important. A thing that is not urgent but important.
7.
Try to recall the thought process of when you were getting dressed today. Did it feel like you were you covering up something? Did it feel like the clothes you were putting on are actually just these unnecessary things you feel impelled to put on because it would be weird if you didn’t? Does it feel like you’re wearing a mask right now? Close your eyes, wherever you are. Imagine that you are in a place very far away from anyone else. Where no one can see you—where no one can hear you even. You're so far removed to the extent that you don’t even have to hide from anyone. There are no curtains to draw, no doors to lock. You’re in a place where no one could possibly find you. And even if someone was trying to find you, they’re so far away at the moment that you have so much time by yourself that it doesn’t even matter. You are alone. Complete privacy. No one is around. What does it feel like to not have anyone watching you? Do you feel like a different person? What do you want to do? Open your eyes.
8.
Have you ever been so in love that you forget who you are? That you don’t feel the boundary between you and the person you’re in love with? Did your existence feel dependent on this other person? As if, when you looked into his or her eyes, it was like looking into your own reflection? It’s interesting, maybe scary or daunting as well, to lose yourself in someone else. To allow yourself to let go of the fibers of what it means to be ‘you’ and to allow another person’s personality weave into yours. But once you allow yourself to let go and to stop taking yourself so seriously, that is when you can begin to feel connected to someone else. The word 'individuality' come from the greek word for 'indivisibility' which means complete existence in something else. Love proves that our individuality, our sense of identity, is actually tenuous — through others we define ourselves. This is one of the beautiful traits of humanity. We are never alone — we are co-dependent.
9.
Repeat these words after me: I am restless and disaffected. I am agitated and discontent. How many times a day do you stop and think through your feelings? There are times when we become emotionally exhausted. Unable to connect. It helps to try and spell it out. Just say the words: I am angry and disgruntled. Maybe you've been hiding from this fact, haven't yet expressed it verbally, but anger is guaranteed to exist. And it is a seed that begets stress and destroys relationships. Have you experienced a conflict today? Perhaps you have a difficult relationship with a coworker. It could be a romantic situation, a family member. Or, sometimes you experience slights with complete strangers. Did you disguise your feelings, or did you express them? Was it a win/lose situation? A compromise? Maybe it's something you just wanted to avoid entirely, or that you continue to hide from. Solving a problem is the responsibility of everyone involved. A process of collaborative learning and self development, it promotes positive community building and overall productivity. Let's visualize the other side of the story, clarify the problem a bit. Can you acknowledge your differences using non-judgmental language? Just say it out loud-- what does the other side want? Be respectful. Has one side, more than the other, expressed interest in being accommodating? Or, has one side given more than the other, given too much. Is there a common goal between you? Say these words after me: I can be a change agent for good. I am a change agent for good.
10.
Do you like to be alone? To isolate from any possible person around you? Depending on where you live, it can be physically very easy to isolate yourself from any other person. If you live in a city, however, it’s a bit more difficult to feel completely alone. Although, even if you are amongst people, in a huge crowd, with no physical distance between you and the mass, you could still be miles and miles away from anyone — inside yourself. Is it ever possible to actually connect to someone? Is ‘communication’ just an illusion? Is it just you expressing yourself or your thoughts next to or in proximity of someone, without ever actually reaching them? Do you feel like the path the you walk along is yours alone, and no one could ever understand what it’s like to be in your shoes? Is this solitude or independence?
11.
What assumptions have you made about your path? And how far down the road to they extend? I’m sure there’s something you’re planning to accomplish today. And what’s your plan for the week? There’s probably a project in mind that needs to get finished this month. How many days left do you have? Is there something you’ve been wanting to do for months, that you’ve avoided until now? Maybe it’s overly ambitious, you can’t afford it, or haven’t been able to make the time. Is your aversion conscious? Did you make the choice to stop yourself, or to never begin. Perhaps it was a question of doubt and expectations. If so, it’s time to start rebelling. And I don’t mean retaliation against the crowd. Now is the time to start resisting your self-expectations. Being independent doesn’t mean lack of discipline or cohesion, it means acting with respect for the autonomy of others. Let the others be autonomous, and let yourself step away from reflection. Create a space between yourself, and the reception of your efforts: a judgement free zone. It’s time to stop trying to win— to stop attempts at toping your previous success. Admit the possibility, that perhaps your greatest accomplishments could be behind you. Say it: My greatest achievement could be behind me. That’s good. Does it feel healthy? Now it’s time to pull ourselves out of the doom-loop and revisit failure with new eyes.
12.
Let your body lean in to whatever is closest to you. Maybe you sit back deeper into your chair, or lean up against a wall. Just let all of your weight sink into the surface. Close your eyes. Breathe slowly, in through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Plant your feet solidly on the ground, the whole surface of your foot supports you. Now slowly let your shoulders fall, with your hands going slack. Feel a stream of energy, pulled down over your shoulders, through your arms and out the bottom of your fingertips. Slowly make your way, sinking from your knees, folding down to the floor. Just let yourself rest here. for a moment. Breathing in through your nose, out through your mouth. Pull your knees in towards your chest, draw your head in close, and squeeze closer. Let your eyes rest. All of your weight is seeping into the floor, releasing more pressure with each exhale. Now let your arms come to your sides. Place your palms flat to the ground, with fingers spread, and begin pushing your weight into them. Use your hands to pull yourself forward, leaving your legs dragging behind. Just a few steps, that’s good. Let any muscle not necessary to your movement stay relaxed. Your head hangs between your shoulders. Now use your arms to push your body up, slowly making your way back to standing, with each vertebrae coming into place, stacking one on top of the other. Pull yourself up the ladder step by step until your neck falls into position, gazing forward. Lift your arms up beside you until they make a perfect, straight line. Step your right leg forward, and just let your body occupy as much space as possible. This is a position of power. This is a position of potential. This is a position of authority. This is a position of influence. This is a position of sway. This is a position of confidence. This is a position of potency. This is a position of power.
13.
In-folding. Gathering. Un-folding. Un-gathering. In-folding. Gathering. Un-folding. Un-gathering. In-folding. Gathering. Un-folding. Un-gathering. In-folding. Gathering. Un-folding. Un-gathering. In-folding. Gathering. Un-folding. Un-gathering.
14.
We are all on the same level. I don't recognize myself.
15.
Let's play a game: Every time you feel like closing this app, touch your right hand to your left knee. Is it rational to do a thing you feel you are not meant to do? Is it reasonable to not do a thing you feel you are meant to do?
16.
Most relationships in nature are win-lose. Predator and prey. A chain of grisly competition. The delight of winning supersedes any other impulse in this type of relationship. Some relationships however are win-win. Bees, for example, travel from flower to flower drunk with an insatiable appetite for the next flower’s nectar. Each time that bee reaches the depth of a flower’s chamber, it gets dusted with the flower’s pollen. As the bee continues on its search for more nectar, it carries, whether conscious of this or not, the previous flower’s pollen to the next. The bee’s promiscuity aids in the flower’s subtle method of reproduction. An even closer example is happening in your body at this moment. The food you consume is digested through a series of processes happening in your mouth, esophagus, stomach, large and small intestines. Inside of your body there are millions of friendly bacteria that aid you in digesting by digesting themselves the food you consumed. These bacteria, though they are within your body, are biologically distinct from you. But you both work together to achieve the same goal: satisfaction. Can we both climb a ladder at the same time without pushing one another off? Would you help me if I was falling?
17.
Think of a time you were painfully bored. Now, let’s try to recreate that moment. Where are you? Who are you with? What time is it? How long have you had to endure whatever it is that you’re bored of? Now imagine how you could escape that situation. Is this escape violent? Is it silent? Would you bring someone with you? Or would you escape alone? What if you’re escape wasn’t to another place, but was a change of mind instead. Maybe what is boring you is actually something that could interest you and you haven’t realized that yet? What if your impatience is an anxiety of actually enjoying whatever it is you’re trying to escape? Sit, wherever you are, and take note of your surroundings. Stand and realize that: You are present. You are free. Take yourself to a place you wouldn’t dare to go.
18.
It’s much easier to be judgmental and analytical than to allow yourself to take a risk in declaring your thoughts. Do you notice that whenever anyone is confidently declaring their thoughts there is always someone ready to criticize whatever it is they’re saying—just for the sake of tearing it apart. Trolls. Hordes of them. Behind the guise of aliases, screennames, anonymous accounts, and catfishes, the rampant army of self-taught critics and judges sit ready to tear you apart. How do these voices of criticality affect you? Are they voices that stay with you? Are they judgments that penetrate you? Who is to say that whatever it is you’re thinking is wrong or right? Right? We are all experts. It’s just a matter of convincing enough people you are. Masked, you advance.
19.
Letting go 02:17
Do you feel confined right now? Do your clothes feel too tight? Your shoes uncomfortable? Do you feel rigid all around? Take note of your body. Are your shoulders relaxed? Are your teeth clenched? Which muscles are flexed right now involuntarily? Try to relax your face. Open your mouth wide and close it. Flutter your lips. Breathe in and let out a big sigh. Imagine that there’s a rope right now tied around your stomach. This rope is actually tied to everyone around you. They're all feeling like you feel. So take a step towards the greater good. Cut the rope away. What is your next step?
20.
This is an exercise to confront an insecurity. To accomplish this, you will have to give yourself fully to this exercise and do your best to let go of any skeptical thoughts. Try to get as comfortable as possible. If you are driving, I suggest you press pause and complete this exercise later. Close your eyes. Try to remember what was the first time you felt the pain of embarrassment. How old were you? Who made you feel this way? What was the situation? Does this event still feel engrained under your skin? Do you feel like this event has affected other aspects of your life? Which ones? Do you still know this person? Do you think this person remembers this event? Do you think they know how it affected you? Would you still hold this event against them? Would you throw this event against them? Do you forgive them? Do you forgive yourself?
21.
Why does any of this matter anymore? What’s the point? Everything’s falling apart anyway. We’ve messed things up beyond repair. The Earth is angry at us. There is no god. There is no afterlife. There is only this — the present…what’s in front of us. But there must be a reason for you to be here. Or is your existence arbitrary? Right now, on this device through which you are listening to me speak, you are being tracked, recorded, and monitored. There are profiles accumulating on you as a character in society with every step that you take. There are algorithms that can predict what you are very likely to do based on previous actions. These equations can make judgments on you as a character. They can also analyze your actions in relation to other people’s character. Whether or not your existence is arbitrary, you exist. And there is a record of it. For now, there is always meaning to your actions.
22.
Do you remember the first time you were angry? Try to remember what upset you. Is it something you still carry with you everyday? Isn’t it satisfying to break things sometimes? Do you take pleasure in seeing something fall apart? Have you ever tried to destroy something simply because you could? What held you back from doing something worse? Getting caught? Guilt? Matter cannot be created nor destroyed. You can’t make anything disappear. Eventually it becomes something else. Rock to sand Sand to glass Glass to beer bottle Bottle to head
23.
Pythia 02:23
At times of confusion or obscurity, the ancient Greeks would consult an oracle, ‘The Pythia,’ for her divine prophecies. Intoxicated by a mysterious vapor emitting from a crack in the ground of her temple, she would inhale the mysterious vapor and in a trance mutter indecipherable phrases that priests would interpret for meaning. Do you ever feel overwhelmed by an impulse? Do you allow yourself to get carried away with it? What does it feel like to give in? Is it like a gas that floats around your body? And when it makes its way to your head it obscures your vision and thought, in a kind of ravenous daze? What is holding you back from indulging more? Are you afraid of the repercussions? What if no one knew what you were doing? Doesn’t it feel good to let go? Do you want more?
24.
How did you get things you wanted when you were a child? Did you ask for things politely? Did you stomp your feet and throw tantrums till you got what you wanted? Do you feel like you act any differently now? Would you throw a tantrum to a coworker to accomplish something? Is that unprofessional? Do you like to share things? Are some things better experienced with someone else? Do you like things going your way? Is it satisfying to see how something pans out when you don’t know how it will exactly? Is your way better than anyone else’s? What if a city could drive a car? Would it need two steering wheels? Or would you everyone take turns driving and reading directions? What if you were driving to nowhere? Aimlessly moving, but moving together.
25.
This is an exercise in which we will try to channel a part of your self from the past into the present. To accomplish this, you will have to give yourself fully to this exercise and do your best to let go of any skeptical thoughts. Try to get as comfortable as possible. If you are driving, I suggest you press pause and complete this exercise later. Close your eyes. Take one deep breathe in. Hold it And let it out. Repeat One deep breathe in Hold it And let it out Great, do this on your own Now, I want you to try to remember who you were at thirteen years old. Remember what it was like to be in your body. Remember the moment of opening your eyes in the morning. Who are your friends? What makes you uncomfortable? What does your body feel like? Is there a piece of you missing? What are your fears? What are your fears? Do you look at yourself in the mirror? What turns you on? Who are you? Open your eyes
26.
I think we all know that feeling of starting every email with an apology. When everyone seems to want something from you, and your communication chain falls farther and farther behind. How many people are waiting for an answer from you today? Could you count the number you’ll have to confront tomorrow. It’s not laziness, but anxiety that drives people away from responsibilities. And the unsurprising truth is that you’re probably letting ego get in the way of dealing with your obligations. If there’s a chance I’ll fail expectations, why bother? If I’m going to have to worry about it, I’d rather postpone it! I don’t owe the responsibility, screw it. Keep it simple. If you ignore these things, are you going to regret it later? And at what point in time will your end of the deal require an apology to boot. What’s the most pressing thing on your mind now— and could it be considered one of those “low-hanging-fruit”? If you can finish the task, in some form, in under 10 minutes, it’s probably not worth ignoring. In fact, it's probably what you need to deal with first. Often responsibilities— and the feeling that you, personally must do something about it— are self-imposed. Is this problem on that could be delegated? For someone with a better skill set, or a more effective communicator, or someone with a more flexible schedule. Maybe you’ve ignored something, and preoccupations are seeping into the rest of your life. A nagging and urgent thought, a feeling of guilt, or shame or regret. Keep it simple. Are these feelings deserved? And if so, how little can you get away with? Weigh the options. Be rational. Gauge the takeaway to get out ahead. The experience should be neither repressive nor indulgent.
27.
Do you like hearing me whisper in your ear? Or has this been primarily uncomfortable? Would you consider me a stranger? Do you trust me? Getting somebody onto the same page as you is kind of like convincing a stranger to dance. You get them through your movements, not your words. It takes two to tango. And it takes five to really feel something. I’m just kidding. I’ve never danced with anyone before. Two left feet, you know? I like to be in control of my body. All of that moving and gyrating will throw me off register sometimes. The music carries me a little too far. That’s not true. But you believed me for a second, didn’t you?
28.
Profit 01:50
Not everything needs to make sense all the time. In fact, something that ‘makes so much sense’ will start showing its cracks as soon as you observe it closer. Nothing is perfect. But we can strive for it. Or, we can reject it. Or, we can ignore perfection and focus on the moment. Perfection is a state that is always at a distance. You can never reach it. The present however, simply is. It is already attained. But don’t you want to improve the present? For yourself or others? What if you got nothing out of it? Would it hold you back from pursuing this endeavor? Payback isn’t obvious always, right? Or do we delude ourselves to believe that? We do things for the feeling sometimes. We do things for the principle sometimes. If everything in the world were done for profit then…
29.
This is an exercise to confront your consequences. To accomplish this task, you will have to give yourself fully to my words and do your best to let go of any skeptical thoughts. Try to get as comfortable as possible. If you are driving, I suggest you press pause and complete this exercise later. Close your eyes. Imagine you are in a cinema. The room is cloaked in darkness. You can hear the clicking drone of the projector. You and the rest of the audience anticipates the first flicker of light hitting the screen, indicating that the movie is finally about to start. Open your eyes. Imagine that everything in front of you is no longer your life. You are watching a movie. You are part of this movie. No one else knows that they are in a movie. Watch everyone milling about. Extras at work. You are the protagonist. But your story isn’t defined yet. Does anyone’s actions have an effect on you? Does the weather have an involuntarily strong effect on you? Do you feel part of this movie? Do you feel connected to anyone other than yourself?
30.
Close your eyes. Lie down. Take a deep breath in. Hold it. Now let it out. Imagine there is a weight pulling your feet away from you. Imagine your head is a magnet being pulled away from your body. Feel your back straighten. Feel your stomach rise. Relax all of your muscles. Breathe deep. Your body is a vessel. It has many different kinds of urges and needs. You experience the world through your body. And the world can experience you through your body. Wherever you are, can you feel your body close to someone else’s? Can you sense that you are connected to others? Do you feel your body being pulled closer to the people around you? Where are you? Open your eyes.
31.

about

Originally released by Essex Olivares in 2014 as an iPhone app, commissioned by SculptureCenter for the exhibition "In Practice: Chance Motives."

When installed on a mobile handheld device – common to commuters, teenagers, urban subjects, emerging artists, wage laborers, freelance intellectuals and still other persistent producers of digital communication – this objective-free guided meditation encourages its users to practice self-reflection through a series of specially tailored activities intended to reestablish (or rather, generate) tangible connections between an individual and his or her actual surroundings. Posing questions that cannot be earnestly answered by algorithm or automated machine (Are you feeling irritable? . . . lonely? . . . disoriented?) Essex Olivares’s unproductive and therapeutically uncertified script for overcoming Cartesian dualism promotes uncomfortable interactions that stimulate internal balance by ultimately dissolving the solipsism of contemporary life – via the selfsame social media channels that valorize consumer satisfaction through instant (and only ever temporary) gratification.
— Kari Rittenbach

credits

released February 8, 2014

reissued February 18, 2022

Narrations by Essex Olivares (Eve Essex and Juan Antonio Olivares).
Music written and performed by Eve Essex, featuring Nathan Hauenstein and Christian Weiland, synthesizer.

Live version recorded February 8, 2014, at SculptureCenter, Long Island City, NY. Natalie Galpern & Darius Greyson, vocals; Eve Essex, saxophone & percussion; Nathan Hauenstein & Rhiannon Rielley, synthesizer; James Mercer, laptop; Max Zuckerman, guitar.

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Eve Essex Brooklyn, New York

Multi-instrumentalist and composer Eve Essex performs with winds, voice and electronics, harnessing elements of avant-jazz, classical, drone and distorted pop.

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